"You think I’M being unfair? You want to wear saturated primary colors? BE MY GUEST. But I will not stand by and let you disparage the muted principles your mother and I worked so hard to teach you.”
It's Like They Know Us
Relax on your pristine white couch and enjoy these realistic depictions of motherhood.
Special Guest Post from Greg Pembroke, of Reasons My Son is Crying
"Life moves awful fast nowadays, but we always find time to cuddle awkwardly on the floor in a plain white room. It helps keep us connected"
"Oh yeah, it hooks right into the computer! I just upload my milk directly into the cloud, and then the baby can access it from anywhere with WiFi. Technology is amazing."
"Hey, buddy. Do you think any good Samaritans will point out that it’s too cold for baby to be without shoes exactly one nanosecond after you’ve Houdini-ed them off and hurled them across the store for the 63rd time. I love getting the extra feedback."
Do you wish you could be exposed to idealized parenting imagery while watching the Today Show on NBC?
Then don’t miss “It’s Like They Know Us” on the Today Show tomorrow in the 8 o’clock hour.
"Take all the time you need to get ready, Mommy. I will just sit here patiently, not falling off the counter, until you’re all done.”
AHHHHHHHHHHH ZABENYAAAAAAAAAA!
"The nurse will come in shortly to check baby’s vitals, and then our Personal Style Concierge will stop by to see if you’d like your hair, makeup, or nails freshened up."
"Ooh, I hope there’s something beige on."
"Breastfeeding is always beautiful and intuitively easy. Plus, everyone gets a fun crown."
"We like to quietly entertain ourselves until our parents wake up naturally and have their first cup of coffee. We are not hitting each other."
Submitted by Megan Schade
"And the Magic Prince declared from that day forward, only those with the purest flaxen hair may sit upon the Enchanted White Couch of Pristinia."
"Brushing my toddler’s teeth is my favorite way to unwind. She never flops around like a deranged mackerel hell-bent on knocking herself unconscious on the nearest wall, counter, or tile floor. It’s our special time together."
"We are so glad we decided to bring the kids along! Otherwise, we would have missed out on the random screaming just before dawn and sudden unexpected injuries.”
Submitted by John Birdstrike